Having a midlife crisis in college?!

I never thought that at 19 I’d be having a midlife crisis. Wait, am I getting a ‘midlife crisis’ confused with ‘teen angst’?  Who knows, but I’ve always thought of myself as a middle aged woman anyway. I suppose the best way to describe how I feel is stagnant.

I was under the assumption that at 19, everything would fall into place. I’m only a month in...but I can’t shake this feeling. I’m the kind of person that always seeks the improvement, but that takes patience and motivation. Patience is a virtue that I do not have and motivation isn’t always enough.

There are two options going forward:
  1. To complain about how life is not going as planned.
  2. To change something.

I’ve spent the past month complaining, but it’s not a cute look on me. It’s reassuring to think that this stagnant feeling could be just what I needed. I need change and I hope that as 2017 approaches doors will open.

That’s why I am sitting here writing this, because I need change. BellaRaeBlogs.com was started in January in hopes that I would explore my love of writing. I almost abandoned my blog, because I wasn’t getting out of it what I sought out to. It’s difficult to write a lifestyle blog when your lifestyle consists of mostly Netflix and binge eating. That’s why I resort to writing subpar posts on how to ‘Feel Like Fall’. Let’s be honest, I didn’t enjoy writing that and you didn’t enjoy reading it.

So it’s official, every facet of my life is undergoing change right now. Starting with my mindset, I will achieve unconditional happiness. You can’t put a timeline on your happiness, but with 10 weeks until the New Year, I hope to see some change by then.

More than likely you don’t want to hear the intimate details of every little thing I want to change in my life. So, I’ll just tell you about my plans for BellaRaeBlogs.com. The biggest issue is that I don’t write about things I want to. I want to write about lifestyle, but as I said earlier, Netflix and binge eating isn’t something to aspire to. With all of the change I’m bringing about in my life, it’ll also bring about things to write about. I also don’t write enough. There should be at least a post a week and there will be. Expect a lot of changes to be happening in the near future.

I’m not an isolated incident. All of my friends feel the same way. College is a transition period. You’re so close to becoming a fully functional adult, but it seems so out of reach. In my case, I know exactly what I want out of life and my ideal version of myself, but I’m having difficulty achieving that. For some of my friends, they have no idea where they’re going and just going through the motions. For others, they haven’t found their niche just yet. College is a weird time, okay?!

As the New Year approaches, start thinking about your resolutions. There’s always room for improvement and you don’t need a midlife crisis/teen angst to encourage you to change. Trust me, this midlife crisis is not fun.

Stay Classy (and start improving),
Bella Rae

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